Go on a date with Hellfire.
Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Discover Fulbert's great invention.
Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.
Find out what happened to the English airman.
Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.
Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
Destroy 10 propaganda drones.
Sign Secchi's rifle.
Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.
Find out what happened to Alessandro.
Melee a big enemy.
Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.
Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Beat the game on any difficulty.
Escape the Oil Rig.
Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.
What if you could talk to the monsters?
Achievement is your middle name.
Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.
Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.
Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.
Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.
Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.
Meet a powerful granny.
Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.
Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Kill a Witchbride using C4.
Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.
Party like it's 199.
Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.
Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.
Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.
Die HAARP With A Vengeance.
One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.
Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.
Recover a key stolen by a cultist.
Get together with your friends and kill something big.
Fight alongside Massimo Murena.
Unlock a S.A.M.
Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.
Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.
Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.
